Thursday, August 18, 2011

Tonight

I've been in a funk the last few days. All I can think about is BABIES BABIES BABIES and how I kind of want one. And how doctor's appointments and blood tests aren't as exciting as Bryn thinks they are. And how the space between Bryn and our next child keeps growing every day. (Yes, there are certainly dilemmas far worse than the one I'm in).
I know I can't complain because I already have Bryn, and I'm blessed in countless ways. Sometimes I just overlook those wonderful things and my mind is like a broken record just stuck on what I don't have.
- - -
I went on a beautiful walk to the beach tonight, then spent the rest of the night at my kitchen table, painting and listening to sweet Bryn sing song after song after song in her bed. I always love quiet walks in the evening, to get outside and find some clarity after a busy day. And I need to paint more. I mean, really. It just does something to my soul, even when the paintings themselves are completely insignificant. I need more quiet evenings like this, preferably with Bryn serenading me in the background. Oh, her little voice....
Life is so good. And I need to remember that.

3 comments:

Merrick said...

I truly agree that art can be so therapeutic.

And good for you for recognizing the things you have, even when it's so hard. You are my hero!

Robyn said...

I was setting up Jethro's classroom this week and I found a postcard of one of the prints you made during/after New Zealand (green with picnic tables). It made me think of you and how incredibly talented you are. You are an amazing painter, and a very creative, loving and fun mommy. I'm sorry the baby thing isn't working out as you would like. I hope things improve for you, and know that I am praying for and miss my little NZ sister :)

Hailey Te'o said...

It is hard sometimes to focus only on the good things in life.. & sadly thinking things could be worse doesn't always make the situation better. As much as we wish that it could. I hope that things start looking up for you guys! You deserve it. Hope everything else is well with your family!