Tate Henry Hawkins

 Introducing Tate Henry Hawkins!

Tate was born a week early, on November 11th at 12:05 am. He weighed 7 lbs. 12 oz. and was 20 3/4 inches long. He is such a sweet baby and we couldn't be happier that he joined our family!

It was my best labor experience so far and I'm grateful that everything went smoothly. I started having contractions on the afternoon of November 10th, following my 39 week dr. appointment. Once Josh got home from work we packed our hospital bags, dropped off Bryn and Mya at Jake and Tyra's house (the girls were so excited to have a sleep-over with their cousins!), and then we headed to the hospital. We checked in around 8 pm, walked and walked around the labor and delivery floor, then got my epidural around 11 pm. I had a perfectly light epidural this time, which made the delivery much easier than my previous two deliveries. By 11:40 pm I was at a 10 and the baby had crowned, but we waited til midnight to push because Josh and I thought November 11th (11/11) would be an easy birthday to remember - silly, I know. I started pushing at midnight and little Tate arrived at 12:05 am. 

Proud Papa holding his first SON

Poor Tate had just entered the world, and still looks a little shell-shocked at this point :)

I'm so glad Josh captured this moment - Mya's first time seeing her new brother! Ha ha!

 My sister in law Tyra was so wonderful to watch Bryn and Mya for the two nights we were in the hospital. It is so awesome living by family!

My cute nieces and nephews

I'm so grateful for a healthy pregnancy, a smooth delivery, and a good recovery so far. Tate is such a blessing and we love him so much already. 

Welcome to our family, Mr. Tate!

Pregnancy Update

I've made it to my third trimester, which is always exciting! We are getting so anxious to meet this little baby boy! 

Things are still going really well with the pregnancy, although I'm definitely getting to that point of feeling really large and uncomfortable. I've been getting additional ultrasounds because of the cysts on the brain (the doctors aren't worried about the cysts anymore) and my last few ultrasounds have shown that the baby is measuring three weeks ahead of my due date - based on the measurements of his head. The doctor said he might end up being an October baby. I'd love to shave off a few weeks of my pregnancy, but I'm not counting on it because Hawkins babies are famous for their big heads. So he might not be early at all, but he'll just have a really big noggin'. We'll see!

24, 25, 26 weeks

I haven't really documented this pregnancy as well as the other ones, but I've had Josh snap a few pictures this past month. I thought I was really showing at the time, but now I have to laugh because the baby has sure grown since then!

This was last week at 28 weeks 

(Josh was away on a business trip for two weeks, hence the bathroom mirror shot).

My ribs/organs are getting smooshed with the baby's increasing size, but Bryn and Mya are loving my big pregnant stomach. The girls are constantly poking my stomach, hugging and kissing my stomach, and talking to the baby, telling him how excited they are to meet him. I think this baby is going to be very well loved :) 

It's a B O Y

 The day before we moved from New Hampshire I had my 18 week ultrasound. We were so excited to find out that WE ARE HAVING A BOY! You should have seen Josh's big smile when we heard the news :) 

Mostly we were just grateful that the baby boy looked healthy - I always get nervous with the ultrasounds. This little babe has the same Cori Plexus Cysts on his brain that Mya had, but our high-risk OBGYN wasn't too worried about it so we haven't been too concerned about it either. Everything else looked perfect! And he's measuring big, so I'm hoping for another early delivery :)

The girls were thrilled to hear the news of a baby brother! I had grand plans of doing a fun "gender reveal" party for the girls but it turns out that the day before a big move is not the best time for a party(!!), so we threw up some blue crepe paper, munched on blue M&M's and called it good!

We can't wait to meet this baby boy in 16 more weeks!

Pregnancy News!

We are so excited to announce that Baby #3 is coming in the middle of November! 

We had to work with the high risk pregnancy doctors for a few months to get things going, but this pregnancy has been so much smoother than my complicated pregnancy with Mya. I haven't had issues at all and I know what a blessing that is!

We will find out the baby's gender in 26 days (but who's counting?), the day before we move to New Jersey. Will it be our first baby boy or will we have a house full of girls!? Either way, we couldn't be more thrilled to be adding another little babe to our family!

Baby Mya is Here!

 On Monday morning I had a doctor appointment and I was "looking like I'd go into labor soon". My mom booked a flight for the next morning, and sure enough- I started into labor on Monday afternoon. We went into the hospital around 6:30 pm and Mya was born Tuesday morning at 2:42 am!

 The labor was a lot easier this time around, except that I waited too long to ask for my epidural and it didn't come til I was a 9. (I'll never make that mistake again! Ha ha!) But all in all, it was pretty smooth.

 Holding Mya for the very first time! So sweet!

 Bryn and my Mom came later that morning to meet her and it was really cute to see Bryn's reaction.

 After three and a half years of being the only child, I'm sure it's going to be an adjustment for Brynlee to share the spotlight. But so far it's been okay and Bryn's been sweet.

Mom with her two grandchildren

 I am so, so grateful my Mom is here to help with everything and to cuddle little Mya.

 Mya was 8 lbs, 3 oz and 20 inches long. So she's shorter and chubbier than Bryn....and we are LOVING the rolls and chubby cheeks!

We are so completely filled with gratitude for this sweet little girl. It was a long road getting here with the miscarriages and all the shots and pills with this pregnancy, but all of that immediately faded into nothing as soon as she was born. She's a little miracle girl and we are so happy to have her in our home!

Good Things

After months of studying, Josh took level 3 of the CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst) exam yesterday!

That calls for chocolate cake!

We won't find out if he passed for 2-3 months, but it would sure be nice if he passed because then he'd be done with the CFA exam FOREVER!!! (He's been working on the CFA for the last three years because there are three levels and you can only take the exams on one certain day each year. As fun as studying for the CFA has been these last few years, I think we're ready to be done!) 

It will be wonderful for Josh to have a break from studying now and for him to spend time in the evenings with Bryn and me. Hooray!!!

In other news, we only have four weeks to go until baby #2 makes her big debut! I'm getting into that whale-ish, uncomfortable stage of pregnancy, so hopefully these final weeks will fly by!

P.S. Bryn's face in this picture kills me. She wanted to be in the picture of course, but she was still sour because we had just told her she couldn't wear her "fancy dress-up shoes" to church. Life is tough when you're a three year old and you're not allowed to choose your own wardrobe.

Other than Bryn's frustrations about her footwear, life is good!

Not Good

(Yogurtland: a favorite spot for Bryn and I lately. I was going to poke fun at Bryn's cheesy grin, and then I remembered I have glasses and no make-up in this picture so I have no room to talk. Oh brother).

Anyway. Let's get right to it...

Whyyyyyyy do I have such a sweet tooth!?

When I was pregnant with Bryn I went to the BYU gym every day and was walking all over campus, up and down stairs, hauling paintings to and from my studio. It was great!

With this pregnancy, instead of going to the gym, I have decided to make treats every night. It's not good.

Baby #2 is measuring a week bigger than her due date and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with all the Ghirardelli brownies we've been whipping up. Which also accounts for why the baby has been so active this week, kicking around all day long. Sugar rush.

There's really no point to this post.

Except for stating that my goal for today is to not make brownies.

Wish me luck!

I had my 19-week ultrasound today...

And it looks like we'll be having another....

GIRL!

My siblings are boy-girl-boy-girl-boy, so I assumed that naturally we would be having a boy after Brynlee, right? Ha!

We are thrilled to have another girl and hopefully she and Bryn will be great friends!

I've been pouring over Bryn's baby pictures this afternoon and it is making me really excited for another little girl in our family. Hooray for girls!

A little news...

I'm 17 weeks along, due July 1st, and couldn't be more thrilled!

We are so THANKFUL for all the prayers from our family and friends that have helped this little baby hang on!

After my 4th miscarriage last summer, I was referred to a new high-risk pregnancy doctor (Dr. Sassoon) and she and her staff have been awesome! I wish I would have been working with them from the start. We're been doing a few new treatments this time around, including Heparin injections every 12 hours. I'm not a big fan of shots (who is?), but it's a small price to pay if it will help me stay pregnant the whole nine months!

We are feeling really optimistic about this pregnancy and really grateful that this baby hasn't had any complications yet. Hopefully all will go well and we'll have a new addition this summer!

Tonight

I've been in a funk the last few days. All I can think about is BABIES BABIES BABIES and how I kind of want one. And how doctor's appointments and blood tests aren't as exciting as Bryn thinks they are. And how the space between Bryn and our next child keeps growing every day. (Yes, there are certainly dilemmas far worse than the one I'm in).

I know I can't complain because I already have Bryn, and I'm blessed in countless ways. Sometimes I just overlook those wonderful things and my mind is like a broken record just stuck on what I don't have.

- - -

I went on a beautiful walk to the beach tonight, then spent the rest of the night at my kitchen table, painting and listening to sweet Bryn sing song after song after song in her bed. I always love quiet walks in the evening, to get outside and find some clarity after a busy day. And I need to paint more. I mean, really. It just does something to my soul, even when the paintings themselves are completely insignificant. I need more quiet evenings like this, preferably with Bryn serenading me in the background. Oh, her little voice....

Life is so good. And I need to remember that.

The Latest

It's been a bit of a roller-coaster week....

LOW: My parked car got scratched and dented by another car backing out. The cute, little lady who hit me can barely speak English, so it's been super fun trying to communicate and get the details worked out with her insurance company and the body shop. Now she thinks the scratch was from her, but not the dent. Ahhhhh.....so fun.

HIGH: After almost 2 months of waiting, Josh found out he PASSED level 2 of the CFA (Chartered Financial Analyst) Exam!!! I'm so proud of all his hard work and preparation! Woot woot! The CFA exams are only given once a year, so next year he'll take level 3 and hopefully be done!

LOW: We had miscarriage number four. I'm hoping four is my max because it's kind of getting old :) And returning un-worn maternity clothes is definitely not as fun as buying it. Oh goodness.

HIGH: This is the best news of all. We're heading to Utah for the Hawkins family reunion, and a few days with my family. I can't wait to see my fam and Bryn is going nuts, sooo excited to play with her grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. The picture above is from our last Hawkins Reunion 2 years ago. Bryn is tiny!

May 2nd

Today was my due date (from two pregnancies ago) and all day I couldn't stop thinking about how I wish I was at the hospital bringing a new little soul into our family! I really do feel a peace about things, but of course my heart still aches. I do have so very much to be grateful for, though! And I've been thinking about that all day, too. My little buddy and I flew home from Utah today and were happily reunited with Josh, and as I spent my evening with those two I couldn't help but feel completely blessed and grateful for my little family. I had a wonderful week in Utah with my family, and now it's so great to be back home with Josh again, back to my routine, my church calling, and this sunny California weather! An overload of Utah pictures to come! :)

Spiegel im Spiegel

After each of my miscarriages my doctor has given me the same pep talk: that I will grieve for 6 weeks and then I'll be feeling back to normal physically and emotionally. Well, It's been 6 six weeks now and my doctor's promise of feeling back-to-normal simply has not come to pass, so I think I'll call him and ask for a refund of all my co-payments. Ha. Even though I didn't expect to be over it by 6 weeks, I'm still going to hold him accountable for that broken promise. :)

In the meantime, I'll keep listening to Arvo Part's "Spiegel im Spiegel" over and over. If you haven't listened to it, you must. It's one of my very favorites, especially lately. It is beautiful.

That's all.

No Baby Yet

No sign of the baby yet! I haven't had any major contractions or anything, so it very well could be the first week of January before this little baby comes out. I'm due the 27th, but I won't be induced until the 5th of January. Hopefully, I won't go that long, but it could very well happen! We'll see....

Under Two Weeks!

Here's a current picture of the growing pregnant belly. I am so excited to have less than two weeks left. Woohoo! I can't wait to have this baby out. She's due the 27th, not the 28th like I've been telling everyone. I was initially Dec 24th, but I thought it got pushed back to the 28th. However, I found out at my appointment last week that my due date, according to my doctor and my records, is actually the 27th. One day sooner. This may not seem like a big deal, but I was thrilled. Of course, I've been counting down the days, so it was definitely a nice surprise to hear that I could subtract a whole day! Anyway, everything's going well. I have my last final tomorrow and then I'd love to go into labor any minute after that!!! We'll see how it goes.

One other thing worth noting: Josh got the pins out of his finger this afternoon. Finally! He is soo glad to have them out. The pin going down the middle was about two inches long and the side pins are shorter. Yes, he kept all three pins and brought them home from his appointment. Don't be surprised if he pulls them out of his pocket and shows them off the next time you see him!

Clarke Baby Shower

After our Thanksgiving dinner with the Clarkes, my cousin Alli and I had a joint baby shower with the Clarke girls. Alli just had her beautiful baby girl in October. It was great to spend time with the Clarkes! Thanks so much for the fun shower! (You can see in this picture how big my stomach has gotten!! Geez! I'm about ready to burst.)





(You gotta love Marie's festive Thanksgiving sweater vest!)

Hawkins Baby Shower

The Hawkin's shower was almost a month ago, but I haven't posted in a while! This was my first baby shower and it was soo much fun. Thanks to Rindi and all my sister-in-laws for throwing it for me! This shower seriously got me so, so excited for the baby! I got so many cute, girly gifts! I loved it!

This is the cute "diaper cake" that Rindi made for the shower. I loved it! Rindi went to soo much work with all the shower games and plans! Thank you!!!